BDSM short fiction

White

Preface

If you’ve been following me at all, you know the sexy nature of my poetry. Here, I share (for the first time) a very short story of the same nature. Enjoy.

{996 words}


I sat in a lukewarm bath, bored and irritated. He’d texted me an hour earlier.

Him:
Run a hot bath and soak. Use a cinnamon & ginger bath bomb. Drink one glass of pinot noir. Await further instructions.

There was little I loathed more than confining myself to an uncomfortable, hard bin full of rapidly cooling water which made it impossible to either read a book (lest the pages curl with humidity) or watch my favorite show (lest the tablet fall into said water and it die.)

But I did it. For him.

When my phone buzzed on the tile floor, I lifted one dripping, wrinkly hand out of the murky, suds-free water and reached for a towel. 

Him:
Be downstairs in 30 minutes. Dress up. 3” heels or higher. No panties. Put your hair up.
Sit in the exact center of the white sofa in the lobby, ankles crossed, left over right.
I will arrive between 8:12 and 8:36.
You will wait there in that position.
You will be alone on the sofa.

Alone on the sofa? All of his instructions were in my control except for that. How the hell–

Him:
Do you have any questions?

I’d find a way.

Me:
No, Sir.

Him:
If you fail to fulfill my request, you’ll not be able to walk for a week.

My heart raced at the threat and promise. He’d done it before. And while a part of me longed for his fury, my ass, numb from the hard bottom of the tub, did not.

Me:
Yes, Sir.

Exactly 30 minutes later, I took my place in the center of the stretched white sofa in the ornate yet modern lobby. Room for two or three people stretched on each side of me. With only a few other people milling about, I took a refreshing breath. Maybe I wouldn’t have to fight anyone  off after all.

Sitting, I tugged the hem of my pencil skirt down just over the curve of my knees, crossed my 3” t-strap heels at the ankle, left over right, and tucked a wisp of hair behind my ear.

Twenty minutes later, at 7:52, the lobby began to fill up with couples in gowns and black bow ties. Nervous, I fiddled with my fingers in my lap. He wasn’t even due for at least another 15 minutes. What was his plan? And why were there so many people around?

At 8:07 a silver-haired man with a hefty girth sat beside me. The woman with him, thin and delicate, sat, too.

“Hello,” the man said with a gravelly voice and a nod.

“Hi.” I smiled but inside my stomach whipped up into a whirl. How would I get rid of them? I couldn’t be rude. I had to act quickly or they might get settled and stay.

“I’m so sorry but I’m saving these seats for a friend.”

The man scowled at me.

“…who has trouble walking the full distance from the door to the ballroom.” What the hell was I even saying? I wasn’t sure. But the man and woman stood and walked away.

The lobby was now packed. Fifty…or a hundred people stood about, waiting for something. Some balanced the thin stem of a wine glass between their fingers. Some held napkins with fancy hors d’oeuvres, though I could see neither a bar nor trays of food over the height of the crowd around me.

At 8:21 a beautiful young woman in a sparkling purple gown sat beside me.

“Hello!” 

She was too enthusiastic. Too excited. What did she know that I didn’t?

“Are you here alone, too?,” she said. “Thank God! We can stick together.”

Where were “we”? What was she talking about?

“I’m actually waiting for someone,” I said, wracking my brain for a way to get rid of her before he showed up. My ass throbbed in warning of my promised punishment.

Her shoulders sunk. “Oh. I guess I’m the only one then. I should have known better than to come to a wedding without a date.”

Wedding caught me mid-swallow, sending me into a coughing fit. He wouldn’t. We’re not… I sucked fruitlessly at the air, unable to catch my breath, sputtering and coughing.

We’d never been in public together. Didn’t know any of the same people. Avoided all chances of pictures in order to prolong our privacy and the nature of our relationship.

The woman stared wide-eyed at me as my choking began to catch the attention of nearby onlookers.

It hit me then that I could use this to get rid of her. I pointed at my throat and exaggerated another cough. “Water,” I whispered.

Her brows shot up and she stood quickly. “Oh! Yes. I’ll be right back.”

She disappeared through the crowd, parting it in her wake as I regained control of myself. With one last swallow, I raised my head, squared my shoulders, and caught his eye through the maze of people between us.

He paused, took note of the empty sofa beside me, and pulled half his mouth into a smile. Recovering himself, he strode straight toward me, wedding guests flowing out of his way as if there were some invisible force moving them.

When he reached me, he held out his hand, smiling. “Miss Adesso.”

I placed my hand in his and stood. “Mr. Burke.”

Tucking my arm under his and wrapping my hand around his forearm, he leaned in to kiss my ear, inhaling. “I could eat you right here.”

My neck and face flushed hot. Could everyone tell I was bare beneath my skirt?

He grinned as I squirmed.

“What are we doing here?” I asked.

“We’re going to a wedding.”

My eyes shot open. “Whose?”

“Don’t know. We’re crashing.” He leaned in to whisper. “And you’re going to come before we leave tonight.”


I’ve shared this story in full as it was originally written. If you’re interested in seeing more of Miss Adesso and Mr. Burke’s night, please persuade me to write it by commenting below. ~___^

Thank you for reading!

5 thoughts on “White

  1. askheroua says:

    Couple of suggestions:
    You diffuse the tension of the sofa rather quickly with the easy acceptance of the excuses from the protagonist. Have the guests put up a fight? Raise the stakes.
    Replace the ‘throbbing ass’ line with something less crass/colloquial? Reads like 50 Shades.
    Get rid of the first part up until ‘There was little I loathed’
    “All of his instructions were in my control..” Edit this – she should never assume control. Nor should you attribute control to her. This is theatre for Mr Burke: he wants her to feel humiliated and not in control, right?

    Burke’s character was solid. Maybe try removing the ‘me/him’ from the text? This will force you to have the characters distinguish themselves lexically on the page. Don’t be afraid to make the reader work out who is who.

    Love the premise: your concept is so simple on the surface, the underlying complexity is made all the more compelling.
    Please do develop this – I’d love to see how you play with this!

    Like

    • Greta Stone says:

      Thank you for taking the time to comment in depth. I appreciate it!

      *You diffuse the tension of the sofa rather quickly with the easy acceptance of the excuses from the protagonist. Have the guests put up a fight? Raise the stakes.

      Good point. I think I made things easier on her just because it was a short piece. Bad excuse.

      *Replace the ‘throbbing ass’ line with something less crass/colloquial? Reads like 50 Shades.

      Good call.

      *Get rid of the first part up until ‘There was little I loathed’

      I had to think about this one. But I agree.

      *“All of his instructions were in my control..” Edit this – she should never assume control. Nor should you attribute control to her. This is theatre for Mr Burke: he wants her to feel humiliated and not in control, right?

      Yes, bad choice of wording there. Although I wouldn’t remove her PERCEIVED control entirely, I do see the advantage in making her sweat a bit more about actually fulfilling his commands. For his part, definitely you’re right. He wants her to feel HIS control, not her own.

      *Burke’s character was solid. Maybe try removing the ‘me/him’ from the text? This will force you to have the characters distinguish themselves lexically on the page. Don’t be afraid to make the reader work out who is who.

      I’m not sure what you mean here. There wouldn’t be a story without referencing each of their actions and I can’t see how to do that without me/him.

      *Love the premise: your concept is so simple on the surface, the underlying complexity is made all the more compelling.
      Please do develop this – I’d love to see how you play with this!

      Thank you! I’ve been working on Part II to my SS story, which is taking some time because I need to get it just right. The balance between Dom and jerk is tricky sometimes in writing. And I tend to struggle with portraying the deeper feelings of it all.

      Thank you again!

      Like

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