Greasy pizza at the flea market
That we lived for
Learning how to write
our names
Ice-cream melting on my shirt
And not caring
It was innocent
Until pizza made me sick
And my name was being
Written on the bathroom walls
And my shirt was soaked
With tears because I cared
And I wish I could go
back to six because
six was innocent.

You used to watch me dance.
I hated it.
My body was your habit.
You captured me
with your power,
manipulation…
And you, like Satan,
entered every soul.
You were always there.
I had no control.
Like mold that spreads,
you were everywhere.
That’s when I stopped eating.

You defy
everything I know
all I’ve learned
all that’s hurt me
you’ve loved me
patiently
conditioning me
to selflessness
spoiling me with
attentiveness
as I lie
in your arms
the safest place
I’ve been
a place I only
thought I’d
been before
I find myself
grasping at air
attempting to
secure a firm grip
as you turn my
world upside down

I am beautiful
Just like he said
When we first met
I am deep
Just like he said
When we first spoke
I am sexy
Just like he said
When we first fuckedI am not a slut

He loved me
He still does
He just forgot…